I realise I stopped after the 20th day of kink, so here are the remaining days.


Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)

I already mentioned an image of Story of O on day 8 of this list. While it is not my favourite BDSM story, this book written by French writer Pauline Réage left on me an indelible impression. I liked the pace, and the writing. I think I like that kind of utopias, in which the characters live in a parallel world where all the fantasies go. For the same reason, I enjoyed Laura Antoniou’s Marketplace series. It is not about what people do, but about what they fancy. But I am also a practical girl, and I read my share of BDSM non-fiction and theory. As most, when I first discovered about BDSM, I ran and read all the “classics”: Screw the roses, send me the thorns, I must say, was an appealing title, and the book was a good introduction too. However, I would have trouble mentioning one that I preferred although there were lots I disliked (and will not list).


Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy?  How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?

A BDSM relationship does not differ from a vanilla relationship, so what else can I say? Know yourself, learn to know about your significant other or others, be honest and forgiving, and love.


Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed?  How so?

I think my interest and perspectives had always been based on kink, except that I was not aware of it. So maybe “practicing” BDSM just made me more conscious of it all.


Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?

I like both dominant and easy going partners. I like them to be serious about the relationship, and yet not to take themselves and ourselves too seriously. I like fun people willing to use their brain on a daily basis. I am fortunate to have found an acceptable level of both in both my regular partners. Oh, and I like polyamourous people.


Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

I am open with open people, and secretive with people I am not close to and who I feel would not understand. I do not mind people “knowing”, but I just won’t go and talk about it with just anybody.


Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

Been there, done that. To a certain extent. It is a good and risky introduction to kink. It could be a good start, and it was for me, but it is a place where you can find lots of crap.


Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

It is a continuum. For example, my kinky and vanilla-ish writing tend to overlap sometimes. I like strong music, not necessarily with kinky content, but one that can evoke kinky images. I like to dance on that kind of music when I go out. I love to read, but I know that I like to find something kinky in the fiction I read, even if only I can see it. Same with cinema. Etc.


Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play?  What significance does your attire have to you?

I like to dress! And I like to dress in black with colourful accents. However, the way I dress depends on my mood. When I feel more like topping, I dress in what I feel is a more dominant way, also more… covering. When I am with my owner, I dress in a way I think she might like, or sometimes (but not very frequently as she says she trusts me) she gives me directions about how I should dress (colour, style). Sometimes I feel more femme, so I dress accordingly. And other days I feel  more butchy, and a kilt and a leather vest will do the trick. Most of the time, no matter my mood, I wear boots instead of shoes, and only rarely do I wear high heel shoes/boots. Heavy, black leather boots make me feel powerful, even when I am to surrender that power.


Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)?  What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

I do not have a BDSM title except for the one that my owner chooses to give me at a given moment, and it changes all the time. I like to call her by what one would call a title and what I just consider what she is to me: Maîtresse, in French, which obviously means “Mistress”.


Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

Help yourself, and read the rest of my blog!


Find the complete set of questions here.