Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink?  If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

The fun thing is I have come to realise it is no different. Except that real life has to deal with unavoidable contingencies which fantasy does not have to. As I said on Day 3, I began exploring BDSM in fiction, so I wrote my first novel without having experienced anything I described, and also without much input from the actual BDSM scene. Basically it all came from my head and pussy. However, when I started comparing my notes with people’s real life experience, then to my own, I realise how scarily close to reality I had been, from the dynamic of a D/s relationship, and down to the simplest elements of a scene. But, at the same time, fantasy does not have to be limited by the daily life; people in a fantasy do not necessarily have to go to work, eat a proper quantity of veggies, go to pee regularly (unless it’s part of the play!), have their periods, and the pain they can take is limitless. In real life, shit (and bloopers) happen.

Find the complete set of questions here.