I haven’t written on my blog for ages, but today I have a good news for you. In the anthology Leather Heights, Toronto, Canada. Kinky Tales from Hogtown (that is a fundraiser created by Youkali MsLT 2013) that has just been prereleased (official launch is on April 16th), I have a short story called “Girls Don’t Talk about Cars”. A preview can be found here.
Woohoo!
Je suis amoureuse d’une Fifi Brindacier adulte plus vraie que nature. Les longs bas à rayures ont été remplacés par de hautes bottes lacées, elle a troqué son tablier pour des jupes à plis qui s’interrompent brusquement très haut sur ses cuisses et juste sous ses fesses, et les nattes rousses retroussées ont fait place à une cascade de boucles blondes et drues, mais du personnage de mon enfance il est resté cette détermination frôlant l’entêtement, cet enthousiasme devant la nouveauté et ce visage joli et lutin. Cette force, aussi, lorsqu’elle décide de se jeter sur moi pour me plaquer au sol.
J’aime lorsqu’elle grimpe sur d’autres filles comme une araignée, lorsque, après les avoir ficelées, elle les épingle à un instrument de torture pour les malmener. Je ne manque alors pas un seul de ses gestes. J’aime l’énergie qu’elle déploie pour marquer leur peau, pour les faire couiner et crier de douleur et de plaisir. Je goûte chacun des joyeux quarts d’heure qu’elle leur fait passer. J’aime les attentions qu’elle a pour elles, des attentions perverses mais toujours tendres dans leur violence apparente.
Elle se retrouve parfois sous d’autres filles, et alors je suis touchée et excitée par l’énergie désirante qu’elle leur renvoie. Elle a des moments d’abandon rares et émouvants où elle se livre toute entière à elles. Elle se laisse flageller en poussant de petits gémissements, fesser en tendant son cul blanc et désarmant, et quand elle ouvre ses cuisses pour se faire pénétrer énergiquement, mes soupirs se mêlent aux siens. Elle a des orgasmes à deux registres, tantôt ponctués de plaintes aigües, tantôt vibrant d’un son guttural et animal.
Je suis amoureuse de cette Fifi-là, et quand c’est sous l’autre femme de ma vie qu’elle se retrouve, je fonds d’attendrissement.
Ce que j’aime aussi et peut-être par-dessus tout – mais est-il possible de classer par ordre d’importance les bonheurs de la vie –, c’est me retrouver sous elle, sous son corps-araignée voué à ma soumission, ou simplement sous sa présence symbolique me plaquant au sol. J’aime savoir qu’elle me veut heureuse, et j’aime avoir l’assurance qu’elle le veut à sa manière – entière.
I realise I stopped after the 20th day of kink, so here are the remaining days.
Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)
I already mentioned an image of Story of O on day 8 of this list. While it is not my favourite BDSM story, this book written by French writer Pauline Réage left on me an indelible impression. I liked the pace, and the writing. I think I like that kind of utopias, in which the characters live in a parallel world where all the fantasies go. For the same reason, I enjoyed Laura Antoniou’s Marketplace series. It is not about what people do, but about what they fancy. But I am also a practical girl, and I read my share of BDSM non-fiction and theory. As most, when I first discovered about BDSM, I ran and read all the “classics”: Screw the roses, send me the thorns, I must say, was an appealing title, and the book was a good introduction too. However, I would have trouble mentioning one that I preferred although there were lots I disliked (and will not list).
Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?
A BDSM relationship does not differ from a vanilla relationship, so what else can I say? Know yourself, learn to know about your significant other or others, be honest and forgiving, and love.
Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?
I think my interest and perspectives had always been based on kink, except that I was not aware of it. So maybe “practicing” BDSM just made me more conscious of it all.
Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?
I like both dominant and easy going partners. I like them to be serious about the relationship, and yet not to take themselves and ourselves too seriously. I like fun people willing to use their brain on a daily basis. I am fortunate to have found an acceptable level of both in both my regular partners. Oh, and I like polyamourous people.
Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?
I am open with open people, and secretive with people I am not close to and who I feel would not understand. I do not mind people “knowing”, but I just won’t go and talk about it with just anybody.
Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?
Been there, done that. To a certain extent. It is a good and risky introduction to kink. It could be a good start, and it was for me, but it is a place where you can find lots of crap.
Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?
It is a continuum. For example, my kinky and vanilla-ish writing tend to overlap sometimes. I like strong music, not necessarily with kinky content, but one that can evoke kinky images. I like to dance on that kind of music when I go out. I love to read, but I know that I like to find something kinky in the fiction I read, even if only I can see it. Same with cinema. Etc.
Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?
I like to dress! And I like to dress in black with colourful accents. However, the way I dress depends on my mood. When I feel more like topping, I dress in what I feel is a more dominant way, also more… covering. When I am with my owner, I dress in a way I think she might like, or sometimes (but not very frequently as she says she trusts me) she gives me directions about how I should dress (colour, style). Sometimes I feel more femme, so I dress accordingly. And other days I feel more butchy, and a kilt and a leather vest will do the trick. Most of the time, no matter my mood, I wear boots instead of shoes, and only rarely do I wear high heel shoes/boots. Heavy, black leather boots make me feel powerful, even when I am to surrender that power.
Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?
I do not have a BDSM title except for the one that my owner chooses to give me at a given moment, and it changes all the time. I like to call her by what one would call a title and what I just consider what she is to me: Maîtresse, in French, which obviously means “Mistress”.
Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.
Help yourself, and read the rest of my blog!
Find the complete set of questions here.
I can’t believe it’s been such a long time since I last posted something here. And I stopped on day 20 of my month of kink! Meanwhile, I have been busy traveling (I attended a conference where I spoke about kink), being with my top and my partner, and simply enjoying the Summer. Oh, and working as well!
I don’t have a real post today, but a link to Andrea Zanin’s latest post: « 24/7: what do you get out of it? some questions, some answers ». Not only is it interesting, but she also quotes me.
Enjoy!
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Je ne peux croire que j’ai laissé passer tant de temps depuis ma dernière entrée. Et je m’étais interrompue au jour 20 de mes « 30 days of kink »! Entre-temps, j’ai été occupée par les voyages (je suis allée à un colloque où j’ai parlé de choses kinky), par du temps passé avec ma Maîtresse et ma partenaire, et par les simples plaisirs de l’été. Oh, et par le travail aussi!
Je ne posterai pas vraiment de texte de mon cru aujourd’hui, mais un lien vers la plus récente entrée du blog d’Andrea Zanin (en anglais) intitulée « 24/7: what do you get out of it? some questions, some answers ». Non seulement est-ce très intéressant, mais en plus elle me cite.
Bonne lecture!
Day 20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.
I have tried roleplay, but I do not quite get it, or I should say, get into it. As much as I like theatre and costumes and characters and have been relatively good as an actor in the past, playing a role in a scene does not seem to do the trick for me. I know that, in the context of a scene, I mutate and become lots of different thing, including a slave, a slut and a little girl, but those are not roles but facets of me, and it is as myself that I like to… give myself. So I like to watch roleplay because it is really fun to watch, but doing it myself never worked very well. Maybe the “good” role with the “good” person is awaiting me, but I doubt it.
Find the complete set of questions here.
Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?
(Yes, I am publishing two entries on the same day, because, really, my answer to Day 18 was a bit too short!)
Ever since I have been attending kinky events, meeting kinky people, getting involved in the community, I have met the most amazing people. Being a kinky dyke in the queer kinky community helped me find my place as a dyke, which had never quite been the case in the lesbian non kinky community, for whom I sometimes felt too much (and especially, sometimes, too much of a femme although I am not femme that much).
Find the complete set of questions here.
Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?
Actually, I do not have any kinky/BDSM pet peeves worth mentioning. Call me a positive girl…
Find the complete set of questions here.
Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?
BDSM has entered popular culture, especially tv and cinema. CSI and all the other crime series all have had their BDSM episode in which someone is found dead and the police finally discover that they were involved in a BDSM scene at the moment of their death. I know that people can die during a BDSM scene, for kink, just as anything intense (extreme sports, for instance), is not risk-free. But people usually do not die doing BDSM just as most do not die skiing down a hill, and everybody has fun. Also, contrary to what is presented in those shows, most people involved in BDSM are not psycho (probably not more than the average citizen) although they might happily agree that they are perverts.
Also, I would like to clear up the fact that BDSM is violent. Yes, things happen that might look violent from the outside, but they are done from a place of love and are actually the opposite of violence. BDSM (at least the kind I like) is about caring.
Find the complete set of questions here.
Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
At some point in my life, when my needs could not be fulfilled, I have wished to be wired differently, not to crave it so much. I would then withdraw away from sexuality as well, because being sexual would trigger the other needs, and that was painful. Now that I have fulfilling relationships including kink and D/s, I do not see it as a difficulty anymore, but as something that adds a precious dimension to my life. Of course, that makes me all the more different from the average people around me who are neither queer, nor polyamorous, nor kinky. But that also provides me with a different perspective on things. That does not make more intelligent (!), but maybe more aware of the many shades and colours of identity, gender, sexual orientation, etc.
Find the complete set of questions here.
Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.
I have never tried (or only for a few seconds, in a workshop) a violet wand. I would be curious to have such a device used on me. I am scared a bit, because electricity frightens me, but at the same time, in my “try everything once” (at least!) philosophy, I would like to experience it.
(Ok, that was a short entry!)
Find the complete set of questions here.
les pages de z.beline 