Archives de la catégorie reflexion-reflection

Day 2: List your kinks.

If I were to list all my kinks, the list would be very long. And unfinished, as I discover new ones, or variations on existing ones, all the time. (By the way, those who say that living your fantasies can be risky as it gradually deprives you from fantasies are miserably wrong: living your fantasies only leads to the creation of new, more complex fantasies.)

So, a summary of my kinks… Some are more on a psychological level, others are more physical, but they all fuck with my brain as they all play with power. For a long time, I thought that pain was not my kink, but that experiencing pain in my body helped me be more aware of my state of submission. I still think that is true, but I have to admit that I like pain, that I crave and need pain, sometimes, somehow. When it is happening, it keeps me focused; when it has happened, I feel powerful; when it does not happen for a while, I become grumpy then numb. On the receiving end, my kinks go to heavy play. I may be not the heaviest of players (but it is not a contest, is it?), but I like types of play that feel heavy, edgy. I like to feel like a slave, a pet, a piece of meat and also to look up for a split second and see the satisfaction in her eyes, or to hear it in her voice. To be chained, to be made to eat on the floor or from my dominant’s hand… Needles through my skin, in the most intimate places… To be ordered to do humiliating things, to be humiliated in front of other people, to be made to show how much that arouses me… The heat of hot wax going through me… To be pressed down by a boot, and yes, the sole can be on my face… Having my holes filled… Intense thrusting, wherever feels appropriate… Thorough beatings with canes, whips, bare hands, until I collapse… I like to cry in a scene, and I like it when my tears do not mean the end of a scene. I like to be stripped naked of my clothes, of my pride, of my self-control.

On the pitching end, I enjoy the same thing, I guess, except that I have not experienced everything above. I like I like to inflict pain with a cane or crop or a handful of needles. I like to be mean. I like to look them in the eyes and smile. I like to punch them in the chest, in the back, I like to kick them. I like to pin them down and to invade their privacy. And I need them to show me they like it for otherwise it is pointless.

Find the complete set of questions here.

30 Days of Kink

Here is a meme that I found on a few blogs. I am not planning to post an answer every day, but I eventually will go through all the questions.

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch?  What parts of BDSM interest you?  Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

Dom, sub, switch? The list is too short, and so are those words. I need the words “bottom” and “top” to fully define myself. And a few more. Although, I would say “submissive” is at the core of what I am, BDSM wise. However (again), submissive is not what I universally am.

SUBMISSIVE: I can only see myself being submissive in a context where I am being it to someone, or being someone’s. “A” submissive, to me, does not make much sense, as it is a dynamic, and a dynamic I engage into with someone specific, someone special. I can then choose to be submissive to them, or to be their submissive. It is a matter of level. That is as submissive as I would get, which does not mean that I do not then crave to be completely submissive. In this regard, “submissive”, to me, means “she who is surrendering everything to a special someone” (which I have been doing for over a year now, to a, indeed, very special someone). That is not an end, but an on-going, never-ending process. That “everything” is not “bulk-surrendered”, but is given/taken gradually, bits by bits, and over and over again, for the benefit of the one who dominates me (I like to believe that my “benefit” is collateral). That sounds pretty serious, doesn’t it? It is, but that is also exciting, exulting and very, very arousing to be aware and reminded that you have put and are putting yourself in someone else’s hands and that there is no going back within that relationship. That moment of realisation is what I crave.

BOTTOM: Bottoming is an option. I may not submit to everybody (and, really, I submit to only one), but bottoming, sometimes, does the trick for me. It is not a matter of degree or intensity, with submitting implying a greater dedication than bottoming, but a matter of quality: one can submit more or less, bottom more or less, but the two experiences, to me, are distinct if compatible. When I bottom to someone, I am in a different state of mind than when I submit. Yes, it is also a matter of putting oneself between someone elses’s hands, but bottoming, to me, is more on the physical side. However, I cannot help it: I always need to know that the person I bottom to is pleased with what is happening and that it is not only “all about me”.

TOP: Yes, I do top. It is something I discovered after I lived some of my bottoming/submission fantasies first. I do not think I could have topped at the very beginning, with all the cravings I had inside. Those had to be fulfilled before I could look around. Nor do I think I could only top only all the time, as something would be missing from my life, but, at the same time, the first minute of the first time I topped, I realised how gratifying (read: exciting, arousing…) that could be (before, I did not get what tops got from doing what they did). What I like in topping is the intense concentration, the extreme focus on the here and now that provides me. It almost feels like painting, except that the brush is a flogger or cane, the canvas is flesh, and the colour is pain or, at least, sensation.

MASOCHIST: Most likely.

SADIST: Probably.

SWITCH: Maybe.

Etc. Etc. Etc.

Find the complete set of questions here.

I am reblogging this, because my brain is still trapped in a cage somewhere in Ottawa… and enjoying every minute of it!

Sugarbutch Chronicles: Ask Me Anything: Becoming More Dominant

Have a good read!

Sexperte en talons rouges et gloss brillant Je n’ai pas beaucoup de temps pour vous écrire mes chéris, je m’en excuse, j’ai déménagé il y a peu de temps et blablabla c’est plate les histoires de déménagement, sachez que je pense à vous tous, que je n’ai pas vidé toutes mes boites mais que j’ai déjà mon vibro sous mon oreiller, et un verre Calinours rempli de vodka-Red Bull sugar free tous les soirs. Vous pouvez me regarder à l’émission Club Social ce soir, à 22h00, sur TV5. Un des sujets d … Read More

via Mélodie Nelson