Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

I was an early kinkster in my head, but a late bloomer in my life. I finally acknowledged and recognized the fact that I was kinky in a moment in my life when I was questioning my sexuality. Events had occurred in my life (elements of a relationship) that had made me think that I was not completely living everything that made me sexual, if I may say. I realised there was a cleavage between, on the one hand, what I was experiencing as fulfilling and how I behaved when I was being sexual, and what, on the other hand, my partner was expecting from a non-kinky point of view. I also realised I was censoring myself in order not to be… what? outing myself as kinky? too intense for my partners? I never thought about it that way, but, thinking back, I guess that is what it was. So I began questioning myself about what aroused me, just as, years before, I had questioned myself (and found an easy answer) about my sexual orientation. And just as, back then, when I had engaged in the process of acknowledging I was a lesbian, or a dyke, or queer (not everything came at the same time) and began with theory instead of practice, when I decided to explore what triggered my sexual response, I began by a virtual exploration. Back then, I had read books, tons of books. Now that I was a writer, I started to write an erotic story. Well, what I thought would be an erotic short story, and that finally became a full-length bdsm novel about a D/s relationship (a novel written in French which can be found here).

Find the complete set of questions here.